The Community of Weaver Bay

Image Courtesy of Google Maps

We're sorry, but due to current conditions worldwide and a desire to protect our town from unclean people, Weaver Bay is temporarily closed. We simply can't tell who has washed their hands and who hasn't, and until society in general comes to an agreement that washing hands is good, and the Karen's of the world that insist we can't tell them what to do, and who demand extensive, indisputable, non-partisan research is done to determine the one true brand of hand soap that we all must use, we're simply keeping all of you out for now ... because, you never know who's a Karen.

Therefore, until such time as the current conditions have passed, Agnes has been temporarily furloughed from her position at the toll booth on Route 67, and the change sock has been taken down. The mountain pass into Upper Bay is now patrolled with wild dogs and a few racoons on leashes, and bear traps have been randomly laid around the golf course. Ferry service now requires proof of residency, the harbor is mined, and the bay itself is continually patrolled by armed boats which you do NOT want to mess with.

We look forward to welcoming you back to Weaver Bay, "Time Magazine's 37th Most Picturesque Place to Live," at such time as the current crisis has abated.

Citizens of the week

  • MP Cavalier

    Weaver Bay's secretary of transportation, driving us into the future and beyond.

  • 'Handsy' McShane

    Visit Handsy's parlor for the best sheep urine and lager rubdown of your life.

Important Information