Tourism

With the busy tourism season just around the corner, the Weaver Bay Office of Tourism and Sanitation (WeBOTS) this week unveiled it's latest marketing campaign to promote tourism to the quad-cove area. The campaign, which began last week, is intended to focus on presenting the more laid-back and relaxing side of the Weaver Bay area.

"Let's face it, we've all had a particularly stressful year so far, and the last thing we want to be thinking of are the social implications of footwear choices right now," said WeBOTS spokesman, Jack Barkley. "Seriously, even in larger metropolitan areas, where fashion is observed and regularly reported on, it is very confusing to ensure you have the very latest information on whether you call them 'boat shoes' or 'docksiders.' Is it okay if they have tassels, or is that 'last year's thing?' How many lace eyes are considered 'too many?' Are mandals still cool, as long as you don't wear black ones (except with a classy calf-length tube sock, obviously)?"

"The answer," Barkley continued, "is to publicly declare that Weaver Bay is open and welcoming to all forms of footwear, and we consider ourselves a haven for those that have reached the end of their rope with small-minded purveyors who seek to pre-judge individuals on the basis of something as arbitrary and personal as heel length and strap type."

In fact, after being accused of alienating the so called "patchouli-smelling, nappy-dredlocked, unshaven hippie crowd," WeBOTS later clarified Barkley's statement as also making the broader implication that the choice to go shoeless entirely is also welcome in Weaver Bay, and added that, while the current line of campaign T-shirts is limited to just a few of the more-popular colors, a committee has been formed to look into producing a line of tie-dye prints as well, whether OEM or after-market.

"The merchandise campaign has been one of our most-popular ever," an official spokesman for the Weaver Bay Chamber of Commerce said in a press conference last week. "People really are very passionate about this cause. Most area stores have already sold out of this year's merchandise line, and the warehouse is down to it's last few items, which are reserved for on-line purchases." The list of products, which currently includes shirts, beach towels, cups, mugs, frisbees, beach bags, and surfboard skins is excpected to be expanded in the second run with a slightly-modified image and on an even more extensive line, which is expected to, at last, include flip flops and crocks. For now, what limited merchandise remains is rapidly being purchased by scalpers and opportunists and resold on the black market and the dark web at extortionist prices.

Citizens of the week

  • MP Cavalier

    Weaver Bay's secretary of transportation, driving us into the future and beyond.

  • Alberta Seisdedos

    Star first basewoman for local our Tackle Baseball Team. She'll take your heart swiging.

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